Paisley Silk Scarf
by ajr818
Summary: Bella doesn't understand why Edward left her and struggles to come to terms with the way her life has turned out. What happens when an unexpected visitor shows up and turns her lackluster life upside down? Contribution to Fandom4SAA compilation.


_**This was my submission for the Fandom4SAA compilation. Thanks to Someone aka Me for her help on this!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. Stephenie Meyer does. I do own this story line, though.**_

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><p>Bella walked down East 16th Street until she saw the red overhang of the Union Square Café. Walking inside, she spotted her best friend Alice, who worked with her at the New York Public Library. She was sitting at a table next to the window.<p>

"Hi, sweetie! You look amazing, as always." Alice was always trying to get Bella to feel better about herself, but with what happened seven months ago, she didn't feel the same as she used to.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Alice." She sat down across from her and took a sip of the water that was sitting there.

"Hey! That's mine!" Alice grabbed the glass and held it against her chest as if it were her child she was protecting.

"Well, you should have told the waiter you were expecting someone, and then I wouldn't have to drink from your glass." Bella stuck her tongue out at Alice, and she gasped.

"I'm going to tell Angela on you!" Bella rolled her eyes yet again. Angela was Bella's twin sister who was a few minutes older than her. Angela always rubbed that in her face and used it to her advantage. Of course, she loved her sister to death, and she was really close to her, but she knew how to push Bella's buttons.

"Anyway, what have you been up to lately? I feel like I never see you at work."

"Well, of course you don't. You're Miss I'm-my-own-boss-and-tell-people-what-to-do," Alice said in a fake snooty voice.

"Oh, whatever. You never answered my question. What _have_ you been up to lately?"

"Nothing much. Just hung out with Emmett and Rose last weekend. We went to that new club up on Varick. I think it's called Greenfarm or Greenham. Maybe it's Greenplant. I don't know. It's Green- something."

"Greenhouse. It's called Greenhouse. Was it nice? I've heard good things about it. Is it worth even taking my time to go to?"

There was a strange look that passed over Alice's face quickly, but Bella caught it.

"What's wrong, Alice?"

"Nothing. It's just someone I saw at the nightclub. Actually, someone that's working at the nightclub."

"Who?" A million different options ran through Bella's head, but she never anticipated the name that came out of Alice's mouth.

"It was Edward. He's working as a bartender there."

Bella got the feeling she usually did when one of her friends told her they had seen or talked to Edward. Her heart was pounding a little harder than usual, and her palms were starting to get sweaty. All of the emotions from that day started coming back to her, but before they could overcome her, she pushed them down.

Alice must have noticed Bella's emotional struggle, because she asked Bella if she wanted to know what had happened.

Bella took a deep breath and prepared herself.

"Yeah, it's fine. What happened?"

"Well, he asked about you."

Bella sucked in a deep breath, and Alice reached over to grab her hand that was sitting on the table.

The waiter chose that time to come up to the table and ask for their orders. Alice answered for Bella and herself.

"We'll both have the Potato Gnocchi and two glasses of the Sancerre." The waiter turned and walked away after murmuring a "great choice."

"Continue, before I lose my nerve." Bella said after the waiter was out of earshot.

"He told me that he misses you, and he wanted me to tell you that he wants to see you. He looked in pretty bad shape, and he seemed really sincere and broken up."

_Well, he did break up with me_, Bella thought to herself.

"Bella, I know he hurt you, but don't you think that you should give him the benefit of the doubt and at least hear him out?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

The next day, Bella got ready for her day of work at the New York Public Library. She had her usual shower, strawberry PopTart, and cup of coffee, and then made her way out into the noisy, bustling streets of Manhattan.

Walking past all of the swift-moving people trying to get somewhere, Bella felt as if it was going to be any other ordinary day. She would get on the subway, go to work, get back on the subway, pick up some Chinese or Thai food, and go back to her apartment for the rest of the night before waking up the next morning to do it all over again.

She got on the subway, sat down in one of the grungy chairs that was welded to the floor of the subway car, and looked around at the people near her. There was an older woman with two small children, a girl and a boy, sitting across from her. She had an arm around each one and had them pressed to her sides. You could tell she was nervous being on the subway with the children by herself, because her eyes kept darting around, watching everyone. Sitting near them was a man dressed as a clown. There was poorly done make-up caked to his face, and he looked like he hadn't changed his clothes for at least a week.

_You see _everything_ on the subway_, Bella thought.

Feeling bored with this ride already, she sighed and pulled her iPod out of her shoulder bag. Inserting the ear buds in her ears, she turned the music up and closed her eyes, waiting for the ride to be over.

_Bella and her sister, Angela, had been singing along to "Fight for your Right" by the Beastie Boys while working on Bella's hair in front of the mirror._

_When they had finished, Bella stood up from the chair and walked to the closet where the white bag was hanging. She pulled the dress out, and her sister helped her pull the heavy fabric over her body. When the dress was finally in place, she turned around and looked in the mirror at herself._

_Angela threw her arms around her shoulders from behind._

"_He's a very lucky guy." Her sister winked at her, and she laughed, feeling like she could take on the world._

_They heard some kind of commotion going on outside the room, and Bella poked her head out the door._

_Standing just outside were her brother and dad. Edward, her fiancée, was trying to make his way past them._

"_I have to talk to her!"_

"_You aren't seeing her until you're at that altar, buddy."_

_Edward's face was getting red, and Bella knew he was stressing out. She could talk him down. It was just a silly superstition anyway, right?_

"_It's okay, guys. I can talk to him," Bella said._

_Her dad and brother let Edward walk past them, and after Edward followed Bella in, Angela slipped out. When Angela closed the door behind her, Bella turned to see Edward pacing back and forth across the room._

"_What's wrong? Why are you so stressed?"_

_He whipped around to face her, and he looked crazed. His bronze hair was sticking up in all different directions as if he had been trying to pull it out._

"_How are you _not_? You're so calm and collected, and I'm flipping out here!"_

"_I don't know. I'm just really happy."_

_Edward grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit on the ugly paisley couch. When they were both sitting, he turned to her and took a deep, ragged breath._

"_I don't think I can do this, Bella. I think I made a mistake."_

_Bella started to feel the nerves she had been wondering about before. Only these weren't the nerves you got when something big and amazing was about to happen. No, these nerves were the ones that made you feel like everything was falling apart around you._

_Edward must have noticed the change in her demeanor, because he started rambling on about how he wasn't ready to get married or make any lifelong commitments, how it wasn't fair to her if he wasn't completely invested, and how he just couldn't see himself with one woman for the rest of his life right now._

_Bella heard none of this. The only thing she could hear was the ringing in her ears that usually occurred right before she passed out. She didn't pass out, though. She simply stood up, walked out of the room and church without saying a word to anyone, and told the limo driver to drive her home. When she finally got there, she did the only thing that would give her any semblance of feeling; she cried her heart out._

Bella hadn't seen or talked to Edward since she walked out of that church seven months ago; although she had heard some things from friends like Alice who had seen or talked to him.

The one thing she kept to remind her of that day was a paisley silk scarf she had found in a vintage shop on 23rd about a month after the wedding was supposed to happen. She was just browsing when she walked into the shop, but when she saw the scarf, it brought on a whole slew of memories. The silky, smooth material looked exactly like the couch they had sat on when Edward ripped her heart out and stomped all over it.

Bella carried the scarf everywhere. It was sitting in one of the pockets of the shoulder bag she always had with her. Whenever she felt like she needed to feel something, she would take it out and look at it, or simply touching it was enough sometimes. Ever since that day, it was like she was an empty shell. No feeling, no emotion, just routine.

That scarf had helped her get over the devastation of having her boyfriend of three years, then fiancé of two years, dump her at the altar. Well, right before she got to the altar. Bella still couldn't really understand what had happened. They had been completely happy the entire five years they had been together. Of course, they had their share of disagreements, but they always seemed to overcome them and end up stronger for it. Yet no matter how much Bella wanted to hate Edward for what he'd done to her, a part of her still loved him.

When the subway finally got to 42nd and Broadway, Bella got off and walked the two blocks to the NYPL. Her office was on the third floor of the library in the one of the areas of Special Collections. She was the Coordinator of Acquisitions, so she mainly sat in her office all day on the computer and phone. She was also the head of her department; therefore she didn't really have anyone to answer to most of the time.

When Bella got off the elevator at the third floor, she noticed every library employee she walked by was staring at her. It was somewhat unnerving. She wondered if maybe she had her top on backwards or something, but if that were the case, she would have noticed people staring at her before now.

Her office door was in sight, but before she could reach it, Alice ran up to her, grabbed her arm, and yanked her into the bathroom that was to the right of them.

"What the hell, Alice?"

"You can't go into your office right now." Alice was panting from running and looking at Bella with wide eyes.

"Why? What's going on?"

Alice paused and continued staring at her.

"He's here."

Bella didn't want to believe whom she was thinking Alice was talking about was really there, but she started to get a weird feeling in her stomach.

"Who's here?" She said it slowly, the words feeling strange – almost mushy – coming out of her mouth, and she dreaded what Alice's answer would be, but she had to know so she could prepare herself. Alice was still holding her forearm, so she moved her hand up to rest on Bella's shoulder.

"I don't know what he wants, but –"

"Just tell me who!" Bella didn't mean to shout, but she had no control over her emotions right now.

"It's Edward. He came in this morning and demanded to be let into your office."

"Okay. Thanks, Alice." Her words were clipped. She turned around and walked out of the bathroom, feeling exactly like she did the day when she walked out of the church; the only difference now was that she was walking _toward_ Edward and not _away_ from him.

She walked straight to her office door and stopped. She reached into the pocket of her shoulder bag and grabbed the scarf, gripping onto it for dear life.

There was a small window in Bella's door, and she looked through it. Edward was sitting at her desk, cupping his chin with his hand, and staring at her computer screen – probably at the screensaver of pictures of them. She knew she should have taken them off. It had been seven months after all, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She wanted to remember the times when things were perfect, and she didn't have the tedious days she had now.

Looking at Edward through the window, Bella was already starting to hyperventilate and get sweating palms. If she couldn't deal with looking at him, there was no way she'd be able to deal with talking to him.

Bella turned around and walked right back into the direction she'd come from.

Over the next few days, – which Bella had spent working from her apartment – she received flowers every single morning. Around 9, she would wake up to a knocking at the door, and opening it would reveal to her a different bouquet of flowers. Although there was never a card, she knew exactly who they were from.

On the day when Edward was in her office, Alice had called Bella after she'd gotten home and told her that he had sat in her office for close to three hours before Alice had went in to tell him that Bella had been there and left. Bella knew that Alice was on her side, but she also knew that Alice felt bad for Edward.

On the fourth morning of her working from home, she was again awakened from a knock on the door. Throwing on the robe hanging from her bedroom door, she looked through the peep-hole and sighed. She opened the door to the same flower delivery guy who had been delivering flowers to her the last four days. He was holding a mixed bouquet of roses, daisies, and orchids in several different colors.

"Thanks, Jake." It said a lot that she was on a first name basis with the delivery guy.

"No problem, Bella. I wonder how long he'll keep doing this until he finally gives up."

"Knowing Edward, never. He always was stubborn as an ass."

Jake chuckled and waved goodbye to Bella as she shut the door.

After putting the flowers with the others in the vase she had hidden in her guest bedroom, Bella decided she should go into the office today. She had an auctioneer bringing her a first edition of _Jane Eyre_ that had been found in the basement of an old house in Haworth, Yorkshire, and she needed to prepare for its arrival.

After Bella took a shower and got ready to go in to work, she grabbed her shoulder bag and made her way out the door. It didn't take her long to walk down the three floors of stairs to the main lobby of her building and make her way outside to the streets of Manhattan. As she walked out the door and turned to her right to head toward the subway, she gasped and reached down into the pocket of her shoulder bag to grip the scarf.

Edward was sitting against the wall of her building with two coffee cups on the ground next to him. Before she had the chance to turn around and go back into the building, Edward looked up at her. He jumped up so fast Bella thought he was going to kick the coffee cups over.

Without taking his eyes off her – like he knew she might run away like a frightened deer – he bent down to grab the cups. He slowly made his way over to her and held one out.

Bella stared at his left hand holding the cup. The significance of that suddenly hit her, and she turned to run back into the building.

"Bella, wait!"

All of Bella's anger toward him seemed to bubble up to the surface right then. She whipped around, and Edward flinched a little like he didn't expect it.

"You want me to wait! I've heard that before. Why don't you take a wild guess where? I'm done with waiting for everything!" She'd had all this pent-up frustration, and now that Edward was standing in front of her, she finally had a release for it. The only problem was she didn't know if she'd be able to stop yelling once she started.

"Bella, I know I hurt you, and there is no excuse for that. I realize that you hate me, and you absolutely have every right to, but can I at least try to explain? I know it's been a long time. If after we talk you never want to see me again, then that's fine. I just think we both need some type of closure. We didn't really get the chance for that when you ran out."

If all he wanted to do was talk, then Bella decided that was all he was getting. After he said something about closure, she realized she really needed it as well. She had been holding on to those memories for too long.

Without saying a word, Bella turned around and walked back into her building. She could hear Edward following her, but he didn't say anything. They both climbed up the three floors of stairs quietly with Edward trailing her. After they made it inside her door, Bella went straight to the kitchen while Edward hung around by the door.

She was getting ready to make a cup of tea when she remembered that Edward was still holding two cups of coffee. Well, at least she could get a free cup of coffee out of this if anything.

Bella walked back into the hallway and took the cup from Edward, being careful not to touch him.

She led him into the living room and sat down on the couch. He sat next to her, but she felt like he was too close, so she slid over toward the arm of the couch. Edward looked down at the distance between them as he started talking.

"I guess I'll just start out with what's been going on with me. I've been absolutely miserable. I know it has been a long time, and I probably don't have any right to do this, but I've missed you. You probably want nothing to do with me after everything I've put you through, but I had to try."

"You want to know about what's been going on with me? I've been miserable too. Guess who did that to me? You. You did."

Edward was silent for a moment while he seemed to get his bearings for what he was going to say, and then he said the words that Bella had wanted to hear from him for so long but dreaded at the same time, because she knew it would hurt her in the long run.

"I want to try again."

He was still as he looked intently at her, assessing her reaction to what he had just proposed, but he should have known it would just piss her off even more.

She was about to explode on him when a random thought popped into her head. It was something Angela had said to her after what had happened. _He who tries to forget a woman never loved her_. She had just been trying to make Bella feel better, because Edward had left her so easily, but that quote now helped her gain the strength to talk to him about what he had done, instead of simply yelling at him the entire time. She wanted answers, and if she just yelled at him, she would never get them.

"Did you even love me?"

Edward got a pained look on his face and said, "Of course I did. If I didn't, why would I ask you to marry me?"

"But you didn't even go through with it. You chickened out before you could."

"It was too soon for me. I should have waited to ask you. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but marriage was so big and daunting. I don't think I realized that until it was all happening right in front of me. Before you left that day, I never said I wanted to break up. I just said I didn't want to get married right then."

Bella couldn't believe what she was hearing, her anger rising up again.

"If you didn't want to break up, then why didn't you come and talk to me? You just let me leave, and I never saw you again." Edward reached his left hand over to grab hers, but she moved it from the couch to her lap. He pulled back and gripped his knee.

"You looked so broken when you walked out of that room, and I didn't want think you wanted to see me. I thought you _wanted_ me to stay away. I wanted to come to you, but I didn't want to upset you anymore than I already had."

"So you didn't want to break up, and you thought I wanted you to stay away from me?" Bella asked.

"Correct."

"Well, you shouldn't have assumed." As soon as Bella said it, she regretted it. If what Edward was saying was true, then she had assumed incorrectly also.

"That was a huge misunderstanding. I just –" Edward took a deep breath before he continued. "Can I just hold your hand? Please. I know I don't deserve it, but I've missed it, and with you being right here, it's getting to be too much."

No matter how much Bella was mad at him right now, she had missed it also.

She slowly moved her hand to the couch and rested it there, waiting for him. He moved his hand over and lightly gripped hers. Just sitting like this had decreased her anger immensely. They sat still for awhile in silence before Edward spoke up again.

"What do you think?"

Bella glanced over at Edward and really looked at him. She could tell that Alice was right. He did seem to be in pretty bad shape. His hair was longer. He had dark bags under his eyes, and it looked like he hadn't shaved for at least a week. When they had been together, he was usually on top of things like getting his haircut, shaving, sleeping well, and things like that. Now, it seemed he had let all those things go.

"You realize it's not going to happen overnight. You're going to have to work to earn my trust back, and I know that I'm going to have to work on some things too."

"I know, and I will." Edward paused. "So, is that a yes?"

Even though Bella knew they would both need to work on their issues, she knew he was being honest; and although he had thoroughly screwed her over with his stupid assumptions, she was partially to blame for what had happened since she hadn't stayed and listened to what he had to say.

"Yes."

Edward grinned at her. At that moment, regardless of her hurt or anger, she knew she wouldn't need her paisley silk scarf anymore to simply feel.

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><p><strong><em>Beautiful Liar made a gorgeous banner for this story. You can get the link from my profile. :)<em>**

**_Hope you liked it!_**


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